Oh and by the way, I've also re-prioritized and given up ALL my volunteer commitments to focus on the important things....like my marriage! And eventually, starting my business! Chasing my dreams! Creating the life that I've always wanted!
Sometimes, it takes a life altering experience to shake things up a little. This thing will go one of two ways....it will either destroy me or make me stronger. It will all depend on which path I take.
I know someone else who has gone through this thing and she's stuck...she's been stuck for probably between 10 to 15 years....I don't want to end up that way so I'm seeking some professional advice and getting some counseling! I've never been a quitter and don't think I should start now! Surrounding myself with a strong support system will help too! It's got to!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
A brick to the head!
Well, the last time I posted...that was 4 days from when my life changed forever. It's funny how one never knows what will happen or how much your life can change in an instant! God knows I didn't!
I was busy doing a project (as usual) and decided to look at my emails on facebook....received one that changed my life forever. I will never be the same again! It changed my reality as I knew it. A secret was revealed to me about something that happened back in 2005....it devastated me. Now I have to take another look at things and see where I go from there. I kept in contact with this person hoping they would reveal more...and they did, three weeks later, I received bomb #2 because the whole truth was not revealed.
Now, I feel like I'm in a dream and that I can't wake up...God I wish I could. None of this was supposed to have taken place but it did. I can't change the past, I can only accept it and change the things that I can. Doesn't make it any easier. Someone I trusted destroyed me. I will never be the same again. I have to now pick up the pieces and try to fix the shattered pieces of my heart!
On facebook there's an application that sends you daily things that God wants you to know...I found this one to be rather interesting. It went like this:
On this day, God wants you to know that your pains are God's way to rouse you from slumber. Pain is your wake-up call to awaken, to look deeper into yourself, to adjust the course of your life. God tries to be as gentle as possible, and only if you ignore the call does the pain get stronger.
Did He have to throw a whole brick? lol! No wonder I keep experiencing headaches! Now I have to re-evaluate things and see where I go from there! One thing I know for sure....I want to leave my job before the year is out! If I can survive this thing...I know I can pretty much do anything....and things aren't scaring me like they used to. Before I was almost too careful....staying within my comfort zone and getting too comfortable....now, it's time to expand those walls and push outside the box!
I was busy doing a project (as usual) and decided to look at my emails on facebook....received one that changed my life forever. I will never be the same again! It changed my reality as I knew it. A secret was revealed to me about something that happened back in 2005....it devastated me. Now I have to take another look at things and see where I go from there. I kept in contact with this person hoping they would reveal more...and they did, three weeks later, I received bomb #2 because the whole truth was not revealed.
Now, I feel like I'm in a dream and that I can't wake up...God I wish I could. None of this was supposed to have taken place but it did. I can't change the past, I can only accept it and change the things that I can. Doesn't make it any easier. Someone I trusted destroyed me. I will never be the same again. I have to now pick up the pieces and try to fix the shattered pieces of my heart!
On facebook there's an application that sends you daily things that God wants you to know...I found this one to be rather interesting. It went like this:
On this day, God wants you to know that your pains are God's way to rouse you from slumber. Pain is your wake-up call to awaken, to look deeper into yourself, to adjust the course of your life. God tries to be as gentle as possible, and only if you ignore the call does the pain get stronger.
Did He have to throw a whole brick? lol! No wonder I keep experiencing headaches! Now I have to re-evaluate things and see where I go from there! One thing I know for sure....I want to leave my job before the year is out! If I can survive this thing...I know I can pretty much do anything....and things aren't scaring me like they used to. Before I was almost too careful....staying within my comfort zone and getting too comfortable....now, it's time to expand those walls and push outside the box!
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